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My girlfriend left me after five years. I loved her more than anything in the fucking world, and she just split on me. Do you remember your first love, doesn’t that hurt, isn’t that hard to get over? But I think it helped my career… when she left me cause I’m a driven man now. I’m driven by a fantasy that one day this girl that I loved more than anyone in the world and I gave my heart to and she spat upon it and spun out the door. One day this girl’s gonna be living in a trailer park, some where in Oklahoma, swampy trailer ground with clouds of AIDS mosquitoes swarming around, blocking out the light from the sun, she has like nine naked little kids with rickets, they got birds in their hair and jam on their face and rats laying babies in their ears and they bring home dead animals they find at the side of the road to eat. And she lives with this ex-welder and he doesn’t have a job and he’s got fur all over his back and he’s fat, like 600 pounds. He makes love to her with a broom-handle at night. And one night he’s going to be romancing her with that stick and his heart is going to explode and she’s trapped under 600 pounds of flaccid, sweaty, fish-belly cellulite and he’s move like the tides of the ocean and his blood and phlegm and bile pours out of his mouth and nose into her face and just before she drowns in that vomit she turns to the TV and I’m gonna be on it!